We all know that when getting married, there is a 50% chance that it will eventually end divorce. Did you know January has the highest rate of divorces of any month in the year? According to statistics from the website eDivorcePapers.com there can be several reasons for this phenomenon:
Waiting until after the holidays: Rocky relationships tend to be rocky for some time before January. Most couples choose not to start the divorce proceedings until after the holidays. This can be especially true if there are children involved. Nobody wants their child to associate this supposedly festive time of the year with their family breaking apart.
New Year, New Life: Some people see filing for divorce in January as a part of their New Year resolution. Some feel that their marriage keeps them from living a happy and productive life. A divorce may be the answer for them.
The stress of the holidays: Although we are made to believe that the holidays are the best time of the year, in fact, the amount of stress that it can place on a marriage can be too much for the relationship to bare. The holidays can exasperate an already turbulent marriage. This stress can create more energy to push for a divorce.
Whether you are the person who is filing for a divorce or not, divorce can be extremely overwhelming. It can cause feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, and loneliness for all parties involved. This is especially true for children of parents who are getting divorced. The good thing is, it doesn’t have to be this way. There is help. Seeking out a therapist is a good idea in times such as these. Some benefits of therapy during and after divorce can include:
- It’s someone you can talk to and not have to worry about what the repercussions may be. There are many times when couples have so much emotion during an argument that they say something that later they wish that they hadn’t. Getting these feelings off your chest or role play with your therapist what you are dying to say to your ex can be beneficial. It can also keep you out of trouble.
- It’s someone who will listen to your side. During a divorce, many people feel as if nobody understands their side of the story. That there is too much judgment on everything that they say or do. Meeting with a therapist gives you the space to express your story and emotions without judgment.
- Creating a plan: Seeing a therapist can give you space to create a plan for yourself and your family. There are so many changes that happen during divorce that it can be helpful to talk to someone about the best way to navigate through these changes. Your therapist may be able to help you sort out where to start and the best places to find resources.
Making sure the kids are Ok: For many divorces, kids are involved. Kids can be significantly affected by divorce. It can be hard to navigate these changes without the kids getting in the middle or feeling as if they are the reason for the breakup. Kids are like sponges, picking up every negative comment, facial expression, and non-verbal cue you give off. It’s important to keep these cues in check. Meeting with a therapist can help with this. It would be a good idea for the kids to meet with a therapist as well. They may need to have a neutral party to talk to that they know won’t feel hurt by what they need to say.
Whether your divorce is hell on Earth or a peaceful departing, seeking out therapy may be something worth investing in. Divorce can bring about emotions and actions you never knew you had. Talking to someone confidential and unbiased can be extremely helpful to yourself and your family.
Maybe you want to give your marriage another shot. We can help you out with our 6-month Relationship program, which has been extremely helpful for helping people in all types of relationships. For more information on our couples program or to set up a session with a therapist, please reach out to our intake department at intake@eastcoastmentalwellness.com
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